Be Your Own Fairy Godmother

To be completely transparent, I watched the movie based on this only about a dozen times and then found out that there was a book attached. There is very much fairytale element that, in ways, could have been a lot better, especially given the title. The Cinderella Pact by Sarah Strohmeyer tries really hard at being a fairytale but fails in a couple of ways.

The story follows a woman named Nola who has an alter-ego named Belinda, who everyone just loves. Unfortunately for Nola, “Belinda” wrote a magazine column on losing weight, so Nola’s friends make a pact to lose weight once and for all. The typical story happens where love is maybe found if only Nola would stop lying. This is one of the few cases where I feel prepared to say that the movie is better than the book. The movie “Lying to be Perfect” takes out all the things that were just annoying: counting Weight Watchers points, shaming other women for their appearance and perceive sexual activities, and uninteresting random characters that get inserted into the story for… reasons.

It’s a cute little story that you can get invested in but won’t really take anything away from it. It’s pretty much a feel-good story about a woman who struggled with her sense of self-worth. I still say watching the movie is better, though.

When Birds Attack

Over the course of this quarantine, I have continued watching amazingly bad movies. As of writing this post, I have watched the entirety of the Birdemic series. For those who have never heard of this series, it is a really bad attempt at having an environmental message. Both movies center around birds coming and attacking people because they are mad at global warming. Yes, that is the premise of both movies.

The thing about both movies is that even though I have told you the summary of the entire movie, you are still going to have to wait about forty minutes for anything to happen. In the first movie, Birdemic: Shock and Terror, a good portion of the movie watching the protagonist drive to work, fill up his gas tank, and get stuck in traffic. For a movie about saving the environment, a lot of time is spent driving. That and protagonist and a flat board of nothingness. Also, the CGI is utterly atrocious, but that is part of the fun.

The second movie, Birdemic 2: The resurrection, the protagonist spends the majority of his time getting from place to place on foot, so there is an improvement. Also, he does show emotion. It’s really creepy but is an improvement over a flat board. The majority of the second movie revolves around call-backs from the previous movie. Not much was added, but references. I would say the second movie is a bit better because it is more self-aware of how crazy everything is.

Love bad movies, most definitely check this series out. Both movies are on Amazon for your viewing pleasure.

Modern Jurassic Era

Let me preface this by saying that I love terrible movies. The lower the IMDB or Rotten Tomatoes score, the better. That is what led me to watch Velocipastor. I spent the entire movie laughing at the movie with my friends, while still practicing social distancing. I honestly can’t tell if this movie was purposely bad or accidentally bad. Either way, it was hilarious.

The movie starts with a young priest needing to get away from the church in small-town America for a bit after the death of his parents. After driving to China, he comes across a woman being chased by a ninja for a stone that she possesses. On her death bed, she gives the stone to our priest and he ends back up in America. Turns out, this stone allows him to turn into a dinosaur. One night, he saves a prostitute who later convinces him to use his powers to help save people. That is where the story begins.

I’m pretty sure from the small description that I gave you, you can figure out where some things are heading towards. The Christianity piece of the movie doesn’t add anything to the movie. Honestly, it makes things more ridiculous if you actually think about it. Also, there’s a Vietnam flashback… for reasons. If this sounds interesting to you, I would definitely recommend watching this. Even if you think this is stupid, I would still recommend you watch it because honestly seeing is believing when it comes to this movie.

Female SNL Reunion

Another movie that I ended up watching during a Netflix binge session is what I would call the female Grown-Ups. For those who don’t know, Adam Sandler has a habit of making movies features mainly his friends. In this case, the movie is called Wine Country. The movie is filled with some of my favorite comedians from Saturday Night Live and I was laughing the entire. Well…, most of the time. At some moments, it was really heartwarming and was tugging at the heartstrings. I was expecting it to entirely be a comedy, but then it would get really deep at moments when I was least expecting it even though I really should have. It was primarily a movie about older women hanging out again after so many years apart. For the actresses in the movie, it completely works and it completely relatable without being completely ridiculous with the comedy thrown in. I would definitely give this movie a try.

Saving Yesterday

In my adventure through binging random movies on Netflix, I came upon See You Yesterday. The best way to describe the genre would be a mix of science fiction and current politics. It sounds weird but go along with me. The movie is time travel mixed with the Black Lives Matter movement, and I’ll admit, the set up for it was really good. Within the system they used, it made a lot of sense. The layout was logical and the motivations of the characters made sense. One of the only things I wasn’t too thrilled about was the main female protagonist. Overall, she was a pretty cool character and it was amazing to see an African American female involved in the sciences. My one problem with her is that at some moments, she seems unnecessarily “hard.” She would randomly act tough when the situation did not call for it. I know it’s really nitpicky but that was one thing that I particularly had a problem with. If you’re interested, it was still a really good movie and I would suggest really checking it out. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

Never Staying in a House on the Market

I feel that I should start this review off with a warning, so here it is.

WARNING: This movie was awful.

There I got that out of the way. I’m talking about the movie Open House. Before watching this movie, I watched the trailer, as one does. Thought it looked good and clicked play on the movie. The movie is very slow, there’s barely anything going on at all, and is pretty much just a slice of life movie. All of the scenes in the trailer happen pretty much within the last 10 minutes. Outside of this nothing happens. There is a disgruntled teenager and some really weird flirting attempts. I don’t understand at all what is going on or where the director and writer thought this was going. Take my advice and save your time. Just keep scrolling past this.

Silence Saves

An interesting movie that I watched was The Silence. I admit that I was expecting a horror movie, so don’t go into it thinking that. It is more along the lines of a thriller. I was… a bit weird. I liked it, but weird. The premise is that these creatures have escaped from a cave. They are swarming the country and are extremely sensitive to sounds. Good thing our protagonists and her family understand American Sign Language.

The plot, for the most part, is systematic and obvious. All the key points of thrillers are hit, with just the right amount of timing. In my personal option, I wished the thrilling part got there faster. It wasn’t until the very end that the movie really got going. Either way, it’s a movie that you really don’t need to think about what’s going on. For what it is worth, it is a decent movie. It’s not absolutely amazing and noteworthy, but it is a good watch.

For anyone who is planning on watching this movie, can you confirm if it’s true that they don’t say the mom’s name ever? I don’t recall a single scene where they say it. I’m hoping that I’m wrong, but that’s something you really shouldn’t forget to put in.

(not so) Family of Music

As a lover of Disney-Pixar, I am honestly horrified that it took me this long to get around to watching Coco. I just thank Netflix for having this movie on their streaming service. This movie was just so cute. I loved the inclusion of the Latinx culture (I want to say this movie takes place in Mexico since one of the songs in from the Mexican Institute of Sound, but I’m not sure). It was just very well integrated. Yes, the movie was kinda predictable, but I’m just saying that as someone who watched too many children’s movies while not being a child. I was still crying towards the end. All of the main characters are enjoyable and you just want to hug them…well most of them. The character development was substantially by not even just the main character. The music was beautiful and catchy. I will definitely watch this movie again when I have the itch for a Disney-Pixar night.

The Super Family is Back

Let me begin this post by saying that I have been waiting for this movie for fourteen years. I wasn’t very hype for it from the trailers, but the Incredibles 2 movie was exactly what I wanted. It fits in perfectly from the end of the last movie, and it was very seemless. The character’s hadn’t changed too much but there was still area’s of growth. I just absolutely loved Bob’s (the dad’s) internal conflict. It was so well done. Also, the villian made slightly more sense than the original did, but the justaposition was intriguing. I also got a very X-men vibe from the movie. If you replace “supers” with “mutants,” the message of the movies are very similar, but you just can’t hate a family superhero movie. If they were to make another movie, not saying they should, but I would like to see older Violet, Dash and Jack-Jack taking on a world that is more accepting of “supers” to see what new problems emerge in their society. I just personally think that that would be really interesting to see.

To Explain the Weird

When something weird happens, everyone needs a best fitting explanation to go along with it. It’s even better when it is in the form of a movie. This would be The Disaster Artist. This is the movie that explains how the movie The Room was made. I watched this directly after watching The Room, and feel that this is totally necessary to get the most enjoyment from the film. It goes through every single tiny detail that you have when watching the original movie. Why is that line of dialogue needed? What’s with all the football throwing? Everything is brought up that you wanted a reasonable answer for. It doesn’t answer the vaguest question of who is this guy, but do you really want the answer to that? I don’t.

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